tom tom

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Today is a special day. Tomorrow morning I'm going to travel sitting in a new car, a really unusual car, with neither electronic devices nor sophisticated gadgets, only the engine, the steering wheel, brakes and accelerator. Now I remember the last trip, ten years ago. I really wanted to go for a walk across the park outside the city, but somebody had opened a can of fume and the morning was very foggy. Although I drove my car carefully, after few minutes I was lost in a highway towards brighton. I tried to turn on my navigator but my son was changed it and it took ten minutes. When he appeared, I said: Hello tom, how are you?, as I used to do in the past, but he didn't answer. I saw him and told him hardly: - Hello, tom tom. - Sorry, he said. My name's john john. Don't you watch tv advertisements? - No, I said. Do you know where am I?. - Sorry, he said again, 'where are we?' is better, isn't it? - Ok, john. Where are we?. - Wait a minute. I’ve slept for a long time. Hum... We’re lost. - Of course, john. I know that. Don’t you have any answer? - Wait a minute. Let me see . . . We’re in the b04 towards brighton. We’re in the wrong direction. Aren’t we? - In the wrong direction? Why? - Because you wanted to go to the park. Do you remember? - No, no. I really wanted to drive this morning. I’ve travelled a lot around the world but I don’t know my own country. It’s incredible! - Ok, well. It doesn’t matter. Go on. - Please john. I’d like to visit a pretty village. Should I take the next exit? - Ok, well (and an expression of indifference appeared on his screen). You’re the boss. But the exit was closed for road works so I had to take the next. The road was very very bad and it had a lot of curves. John didn’t fell well. - For heaven’s sake!. He gets carsick. - I’m so sorry. I have an idea: do you like playing ‘I see, I see’?. It’s a typical spanish play when people are travelling with children. - Ok, he said condescendingly. Shoot, please. - I see, I see . . . - What do you see? - A little thing. - What letter does it begin with? - It begins with the letter ‘c’. - Wow, it’s very easy. The clouds, obviously. You have a big imagination -and his screen was laughing noisily. It’s my turn to ask. Let me try . . . I see one thing with the letter ‘p’. - Letter pi, letter pi . . . I don’t know. Perhaps is it a stone? - Oh, no. It could be in spanish, but not in english, my god! - Letter pi, letter pi . . . Ok, yes. I know the answer. It’s a bridge!. - My god!. You’re completely silly. It’s spanish again. No, no . . . - Sorry, john. Letter pi . . . Definitively I don’t know. I’ll give up. - Now the screen was laughing maliciously. - Maybe a . . . police control? - Oh, no. Sheet. The maximum speed was sixty miles an hour and I were driving at seventy. Oh, no! Two miles ahead a big policeman stopped me. Hello, he said. Could I see your driving licence? - Of course. Here you are. - Ok, it’s correct. Have you seen the road sing? - Of course, sir. I saw it. - Do you usually break the rules? - Oh no. I’m a honourable citizen. - Oh, yes. Are you sure? - Absolutely. I was speaking with my navigator and the car . . . - I understand. Your navigator is the culprit. Should I fine the device instead of you? - No, but . . . - But, but . . . but nothing! That’s five hundred pounds, and you’ll lose three points. Three points, . . I only had six, my god!. I went on driving. I was furious and john didn’t stop laughing loudly. - You might stop laughing, john. You aren’t a friend; actually you’re a son of a bitch. Did you know it? - Please, guy. It was only a joke. - Only a joke? Don’t talk to me never again. - Ok, Ok. And the screen turned off. I turned on the radio. A sweet song caressed my ears. The morning was sunny and I was absolutely lost. Thirty minutes later I had to say: Ok john, you win. Please turn on the screen. The screen got blue with a little square in the centre. He said: ‘Touch the square, please’. - I put my finger hardly and john shouted in an odd way. - What do you say?. Something like a bottom appeared in the screen. What is it? Is it your backside, john? - The screen got blue again and a metallic voice said: ‘Please, touch the circle’. - I touched it and suddenly an acrid smell fills the car. My finger was wet and john roared of pleasure. - Oh, no, sheet. You’re a damn gay. You’ve had an orgasm! Clearly john had ejaculated and I was angry, furious and impotent. Then I caught my gun, took aim carefully and shot him. The shot sounded sharp and broke the device. I breathed deeply and went on driving slowly. I was happy, quiet and peaceful. Four miles ahead six policemen were waiting behind their cars. One of them had a speaker and told me: - Stop the car and get out with your hands in the air. I did it and waited. The policeman came to me with his gun. He looked into the car and saw the navigator. One red light was flashing quickly. - You’ve killed the device. He phoned us while was dying. Don’t move! Don’t speak! All you could say will be used against you! Two weeks later the court decided I was a dangerous man with no respect to the laws. I had to go into the prison for ten years... But today is a special day. Tomorrow I’m . . . December 29th, 2007. 3º eoi, writing.

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doce de noviembre de dos mil doce